I choose happiness

Am I happy now? Hahaha... Can't believe I actually questioned myself.

What is not to be happy about?

A good friend of mine is migrating to Kelantan to follow her husband. They both worked at the same place but the husband apparently had a business in Kelantan. Somehow maybe he finally decided to just focus on that business. The friend also quits her job to follow him. She said,
"I choose happiness"

Quitting from a good job (lawyer kut), to follow her husband back to Kelantan and just be beside him, is happiness, to her. Somehow I understood. A stressful job. I know some might object, though. It all depends on what is happiness to you.

Maybe for some, having a lot of heels is happiness. But not for me as I rarely wear them. Having a lot of swimming suit is happiness to me, instead. Hahahah.

I've been in a nearly similar situation before. Hm... Quitting a good job to work on my own. My first real job after graduation was at a private school. I got paid a basic of RM 3.5k. Yes I'm being real transparent with this. Basic salary of RM 3500. Belum kira overtime lagi... Fresh graduate pulak tu weh.... First, because my position is highly on demand. That was the maximum I could ask for and since they were so desperate, I got what I demanded. Second, I have years of experience. I started teaching swimming at 20 years old so by that time I had at least 5 years of experience. Kerja apa? Swimming instructor, as written in the contract. But in reality, I had to make arrangements for students going for chess tournaments, basketball tournaments, and other co-curricular activities.

Gaji banyak I should be happy eh? Well, it lasted only for 6 months before I gave a 24 hours notice. I was still in probation. Basically I quit because I already managed to get a car loan. HAHAHA. But seriously no, I resign because I was too stressed out. With the students, the environment, and also because I've gotten busier with IRenang. Honestly, I never intended to stay long with the company pun. Even mum said I should just focus on IRenang. Tapi degil... I wanted to have a real job. With a fixed working hours. Ternyata memang tidak cocok gitu. I think no matter how stressed I am, mesti boleh tahan. Kut. Hahah. The main thing is I don't get the satisfaction. Job satisfaction tak ada.

Fast forward 2 years later, here I am. Handling little Sofia, kejap-kejap nenen kejap-kejap ajak borak (babbling), sidai kain angkat kain lipat kain. There were days when I am happy staying home in my faded clothes and koyak pants, but there were also days I wished I'm all dressed up in an air-conditioned office doing nothing but work.

But I tried to be thankful everyday. No matter how bad my day is (usually when Sofia didn't want to sleep at all), I always try to bersyukur. Walaupun kurang ikhlas. Hahahah. Ucapkan jelah Alhamdulillah.