I felt a bit down after shopping (for a while) just now. Talked to Iz about it.
Why does it seemed now that I cannot spend money on myself? When I went shopping, all I bought are things for Sofia, Iz, the center, and my mum. I could have just buy a lipstick ke apa... But no, I didn't. Instead, I bought things for the house like an ironing board cover, socks for Iz, well you know, stuffs like that.
But nothing for me.
And when I got home and found out I didn't buy myself anything, I feel down. It was as if I have lost myself. I forgot about me. Diri sendiri lupakan diri sendiri.
Oh, the new shoes that I just bought? Honestly, my mum forced me into it. She wouldn't leave the mall until I get myself a new pair of shoes, and yes, she paid for it.
Iz said it is a good thing. That I'm slowly being selfless. I've started thinking about other people. And that I'm turning into a matured, responsible adult who think of others beforehand. Iz is the eldest in his family, so he is used to giving up for his younger siblings. He always told me that their happiness is his happiness. He is a good big brother and a good son, too. I crocheted him a laptop bag for his birthday (sebelum kahwin). Later after marriage I found out he gave the bag to his mum to keep her Quran because she liked it... He bought a RM 9 roti john cheese and only had two bites because I like it.
Entahla. I told him I'm not sure because now after spending money on buying other people's stuffs, I feel miserable. He said maybe I'm in the process of transitioning. From a single Bashtiah to being a mama. Yeah, maybe.
We were supposed to pick up my cardigan from a friend (after ordering from him, I nearly cancelled it, but after he posted about back out buyers, terus tak jadi. Takpelah ambil je.. See? Masih kedekut dengan diri sendiri), and after seeing his address, I told Iz, "Eh dekat dah dengan Tateh. Nanti singgah Tateh eh"
Then it suddenly hit me hard, KENAPA TATEH?
Oh my goodness.
Sofia on the way back from IOI City Mall during Christmas the other day. Dah pandai sentil-sentil lidah.
*Butik Tateh is a baby boutique by the way...