August 4, 2011

Why Men Cheat.

Not based on my experience, but based on what I got from the Oprah Winfrey TV show, as stated by M. Gary Neuman. Well just in case anyone gets offended after reading this post. Ha-ha.

Somehow I found his points quite reliable, and logical. So I thought, yeah, why not share it on the blog right? Because we could never run away from love. I know, I know this is a bit cheesy but come on, everyone wants a happy ending... So yeah, read on!
*Yes yes I know and am aware of the case of our footballer breaking off his engagement... But no, I'm not writing this post because of that okayy... Kebetulan pula tengok TV show Oprah kan...

Cheating much?
Okay, so you just found out your man cheated on you. You consulted your best buddies...

Your friend(s) said you're prettier than the other woman.
Your friend(s) said you're smarter than the other woman.
In short, YOU ARE MUCH BETTER than the other woman!
And so you began to wonder.

Are my friend(s) really telling the truth? 
Am I really that gorgeous? If so, then WHY? Why OH why?!

Fret not. Your friend(s) might be telling the truth. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE HOT. 

It IS normal if your man cheated on you with a woman who is less attractive than you are. YES. He is normal, and so are you.

As a matter of fact, based on a research done by Gary:
88% of the men who cheated on their wife said that the other women were NO better looking or in NO better shape than their own wives.

Now, now... So IT IS possible for your husband to cheat on you with a granny living next door with 20 grandchildren. Ya, nenek berkedut seribu tu~ 


The reason men cheat is because of how the other woman treats them.

It has got nothing to do with looks, ladies. It has got nothing to do with your body, your skin complexion, your fashion sense... NO.

It's more to psychological. 
They cheat because they found that emotional connection with the other woman. They needed that emotional support. Most men who cheated said they felt better with the other women. They wanted to feel appreciated for what they have done. 
And in most cases, they felt neglected by their wives.

NEGLECTED. Terabai. 
From what I've seen in the TV show, a lot of women were outraged. REALLY OUTRAGED. They believe that Gary was blaming only the women for making their husband cheat.

"We clean the house, we have kids to take care of, we have to cook, we have to work, and  ALL they think about is THEIR OWN FEELINGS OF BEING NEGLECTED!"

And if, by any chance a man came to me and complained about the lack of appreciation received by his wife, I'd certainly gave him a smack on his face! Complaining about lack of attention when you should be helping her with the chores. Huh.

But Gary insist that he is not blaming women either. Cheating is still wrong, no matter what the reason is. But he said that there's a way where women can empower their relationship; control their man from cheating, building a more mutually beneficial relationship (kind of like a win-win situation lah)

Yes, we women can control our relationship! There's a way to that.

Women also cheat, but that's another story.
Truth is, in my opinion, we woman expect men to be emotionally strong. That's why we tend to forget to take note of those little things, like showing our appreciation, especially when we're busy. We expect them to be a man. Like, man. Lelaki gagah perkasa, tak payah puji-puji ni lah.

But Gary said, men really really really needed them (appreciation):
"Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

So yeah, men cheated because they feel underappreciated. We women thought there's no need to show off thoughtful gestures because well, they are men. Men are supposed to be strong. Well that's what WE thought.

Truth is, you HAVE TO show appreciation. No matter how small the things he did, no matter how badly he did it, just show your appreciation.

Husband: I bought you a new handbag! (It's only a fake Louis Vuitton bag, by the way) 
Wife: Oh WOW oh WOW! Thank you..! I love the design SO MUCH, dear!
*Husband felt appreciated. Happy ending.

Yeah, something of that sort. Show your appreciation. Some girls wrote very specific details of what their boyfriend/husband gave them on their blog or even post it up on their Facebook wall. 

It might sound too cheesy but hey, just do anything to save the relationship! (though it might make single people like me puke)

But if, your man already cheated on you, it really is up to you whether to accept him or not. It's not the right time though, to keep on looking back and thinking you should have done this, you should have done that. Things happened already. But there's no harm in looking back (when you're better), just to improve yourself in your new relationship. :)

Here's a more complete info on how to affair-proof your marriage/relationship. Read on!

Well I did found some points by Gary related to my own self but I'm going to keep it to myself and secretly, slowly try to learn from it.

So, basically...
Show your appreciation.
Well we do appreciate, it's just that sometimes the appreciation doesn't show physically. So yeah, try to LEARN showing your appreciation.

Enough advices from Gary, now this is one advice from my mum.
My mum once said:
"The only thing a woman couldn't stand is if she's cheated on. You can punch her, kick her, spit on her face, and she would still stay by your side. But once she knew her man cheated on her with another woman, that's it."

Though I admit what Gary said(cheating because of how the other women treats them) is quite true, but like most women out there I still believe it's mostly about understanding our partners and having a good communication. 

Sometimes we thought we already did our very best for the relationship, but who knows what's in his heart right? 


Lilynn Sazlin said...


lelaki tak perlu muka cantik. body shape A+. tapi dia hanya perlu belaian dan rasa selesa dgn wanita itu. :)

Bashtiah said...

Lilynn: Betul tu. Body A+ ke A- ke, itu tak penting sangat.

Sarah Mohd Saleh said...

totally agree.kdg2 kite pk kite dah cukup perfect utk si die,tp kite tak tawu kehendak die sebenar dan kite abaikan die.kdg2 mmg lahh bile die cheat dgn pempuan tuh,pempuan tuh bkn hot mne pon dr kite tp kite tak sdar diri die terhadap lelaki tuh way more hotter than us.pffttt.lelaki tak penah ckup dgn 1.pfftt

syakey said...

hargailah orang yang dicintai dan disayangi. walaupun diorang taklah perfect mana ;)

Bashtiah said...

Sarah: Statement last sekali tu penting. Memang satu tak cukup... haha..

Syakey: Itu betul! Plus, tak ada siapa pun yang totally perfect.