July 25, 2011

Expecting Too Much From A Hijab

Hi all.
This is an issue I've always wanted to share but never had the guts to. But like a debate friend once said, 'Nothing is a sensitive issue unless you think it is'.

Not so sensitive.

So yeah, here goes. 
Among the reasons that makes me consider donning the hijab is because I wanted to be respected as a Muslim woman. I feel that men nowadays are losing their respect for women, especially if the women dressed sexily. 

I'm not the type who wear skimpy clothes. Having only one daughter, my mum would certainly kill me if she saw me in that state.
But mum couldn't kept her eye on me 24/7, could she?

Staying in college; away from mum, surrounded by loads and loads of people, with loads and loads of style of clothing, exposed to various fashionable outfits... And mum out of sight... I began to get the one thing that most parents are afraid of (I think): 

Until one point, I suddenly realized that I was changing. I realized that my choice of outfits were getting, sexy. Revealing more, day by day. Okay maybe months, because I don't shop for new clothes everyday.

I began to prefer tops with a wider neck.
(because of the self false perception that I have a broad shoulder(swimming teacher katanya~) so I'd look great with a wide neck top.)
So wide that bra straps would peek out of the collar. But women usually wear a strapless tube with padding to avoid that.
Baju semakin ketat, sendat... Sebab rasa diri kurus dan perut tak buncit. -.-"
But no matter how much I think I look beautiful (talk about self obsession) I've never went out in just a spaghetti top and short pants, though.

I remembered one advice my lecturer during Diploma told me. We were discussing about Muslim women in business; how to handle handshakes from men. In the tourism industry, we're going to meet a whole lot of people out there. 

My lecturer said:
People judge you from the way you carry yourself. 
So basically if you want people to respect you as a Muslim women, you must show them that you respect yours (religion) first.

So yeah.
Here's my story.
One fine day, I was having lunch with a group of girl friends at this one restaurant which seems dominated by the male species. All the waiters were men, even the cook, I think. Why is it that we chose that particular restaurant was because we have no choice... And plus the restaurant is clean. At least cleaner than other restaurants.

I ordered Pataya friend rice.
Nasi Goreng Pataya (Google)
HI SAYANG! (Hi honey/sweetie/darling!)
was written on top of the egg with sauce.
The waiter who served the dish makes sure of the correct position so I could read it. So I'd get the message. Well, I did get your message mister... He had on eyeliner with a spiky, not so blonde hair. Please don't imagine any Korean artist. Imagine mat rempit. Eww. I know. And scary. 

The friends didn't get the message yet but they fussed over and even said it out loud, 
"Hi sayang?!" Duh. -.-" Senyap ajelah~

It doesn't end there. He came to our table, placed a box of tissue next to my plate and said:
"Ehem. Hi sayang..." 
And sat on a chair not so far from us, looking at me. I could feel it.

I was like,
"Teruklah! Padahal aku dah pakai tudung tau!!!" (I'm already wearing hijab! And he still dare to do that!!!) Okay, the translation's a bit too much but the point's there.

What happened to the dish? I didn't eat it. If he could write something on it, who knew what he would put in it?

My friends don't seem to get my point. Like, what's the relation between wearing hijab and a love note on a dish? They said:
"Perempuan memang nampak lagi cantik kalau bertudung" 
No, it has got nothing to do with being pretty. But *ahem*, thanks for the praise though. Hee. Like I've explained before... Respect.

It seems that mum had the same expectation as I am. We were walking around in a mall and suddenly a salesman selling perfume approached us. You know how annoying some salesman at malls can be, right? They just come to you and do whatever they want/have to. 

In our case, this man actually rubbed the perfume he's selling on mum's hand WITHOUT asking for permission first. Mum was outraged as she had on wuduk already as we're planning to buy Quran. He got scolded exactly on the spot. Padan muka.

I'm not sure about other women/Muslim women out there. Maybe I'm the only one hoping a lot from just a piece of extra cloth above my head. There's more than just covering your head, I know. But what do you think? Am I really expecting too much?


crossheaven said...

Respect, I like. I beg to differ though, regardless whether one wears the hijab or not - Ultimately, it's how you carry yourself. But each to their own.

Good luck in your endeavor!

Sarah Mohd Saleh said...

kadang2 manusia tak rti hormat sesuatu agama.die pakai gedegang die jek.but some manusia faham kehendak islam bagaimana.memang betol ape ur lecturer said to you?btw is she or he lecturer in s.alam?kalau u tawu bawak diri sendrey n tawu to deal with a bunch of people,so u dun have to worry about those mat rempit yg xte hala tuju tuh.i hate mat rempit.pfttt

Bashtiah said...

Aziff, it's nice of you to have that perspective. You really should respect all people regardless of how they look but still some people just don't put themselves in a way to be respected. Oh yea, thank you!

Sarah: My lecturer back in Malacca taught me that quote. Ha'ah betul sangat... pandai-pandai jaga diri mesti akan okay.

Sophie Al-yahya said...

kadang2 pun rasa mcm tak tahu nak sambut ke tak tangan orang laki yg menghulur.huhu..

btw bash. kami pergi perhentian. really wish you were there. Tapi bash paham kan siapa yg control keadaan.huhu..

Bashtiah said...

Hai Sophie!!! Lama gila lah tak dengar khabar!

Oh yea, memang kadang-kadang rasa bersalah kan nak sambut ke tak sebab nanti dia pulak malu kan...

It's okay, Sophie. I'll plan my own company(i-Renang) trip later. ;)

Anis izyan Abd Rahman said...

just like a lolipop candy with or without wrappers

Bashtiah said...

Betul tu Anis :)

kiki said...

saye terbace komen dkt wall maria elena,pas2,tersangkot lak ngan blog anda..hehe..suke la penulisan anda..

sy pon penah jugak merase too much freedm..x mcm anda,sy x sedo dri,bdn x d la kurus sgt,prot pon buncit,sebok je nk pkai baju ketat<<konon2 nk salahkn cultureshock,padehal,iman x kuat,x nk salahkn diri sndr lak kan.hoho~

p/s:sory x komen in english.awak x marah kn??

Bashtiah said...

Hai kiki!
First of all, thanks for following! *terharu*

And secondly, saya tak marah pun awak komen in BM. Mana-mana yang awak selesa. ;)

Haa... betul lah tu kan, sibuk kata culture shock bagai padahal diri sendiri tak kuat kan. Heh... Tapi tak apalah, bulan ramadan ni kita cuba improve ya! :D

mei merah said...

u're good in english. btw, man without religion knowledge can be very annoying towards gurl like us. :)