Ever since donning the hijab, I found myself waking up earlier than usual. I found myself staring into the cupboard looking for clothes much longer than usual. I found myself changing-taking off-and-changing clothes more often. And then I realised that I needed to shop for more clothes.
(*Ahem ahem* Bos, I still haven't received my swimming classes payment...)
When I first told mum about my intention to don the hijab, her reaction, I must say, is not really that supportive. Not unsupportive in a bad way, but in a good way. She advised me to think thoroughly. She didn't urge me on wearing it, nor did she restricted me. She just said, "Fikir betul-betul dulu, jangan tergesa-gesa..."
She was afraid I wanted to cover just because I'm heartbroken. No, I told her.
To tell the truth, I already thought about it for a long time. Long enough... Since last year. I'm just waiting for the perfect time to start. The perfect time is when I am really really ready. I already had the feeling that it is time for me to change. Like most people said, "Dah dapat seru..."
I just didn't have the courage. I still wanted to show off the long, wavy hair that I've taken care of for so long. I still wanted to wear baby-T's and jeans.
But when my heart keeps on thinking about it, I believe that's when the seru actually came.
I consulted mum, as usual.
Mum gave me a very very long lecture.
About girls donning the hijab but still looking naked. About being in the sports industry and how wearing hijab could affect my career progression (her friend faced a problem in going to the international level because of the hijab)...
Then I think it over again. I've always wanted to work in the Fitness First gymnasium. Nanti dah pakai tudung susah nak dapat... She even frightened me with the thought of having to wear those long muslimah t-shirt with track pants. She knew how much I dislike wearing those type of t-shirt. I told her I'll cover up, but there's no way I'm going to wear those big t-shirts! I'm so small, later I'll look like a walking shirt! A shirt, already hung on a hanger... Walking.
There's just NO WAY I'm going to wear those big t-shirts. Seriously. I told mum I would be wearing cardigans and long sleeved inners.
Mum gave me one very STRICT warning, though:
"Kalau mak nampak je kau pakai baju sendat-sendat nampak buntut pastu pakai tudung, mak siat-siat tudung kau tu!"
So everytime I'm chosing an outfit of the day, I would remember that phrase. Mum really mean it, seriously. There was this one time when I was bending over and well, it kind of shows a glimpse of the *ahem* panties. Mum saw it. And let me tell you, she was outraged! Like, really really really mad! I had to cover up saying all my clothes are in Shah Alam... Yes, my mum didn't don the hijab but she's still a mother. A mother that protects her daughter.
About one month has passed since I first started donning the hijab. I actually planned on starting on my birthday, which is on 25th March. I even planned on wearing it after Wellness X (an aerobic event), because I'm afraid I wouldn't enjoy the event with a hijab on. Like wearing a hijab would restrict my movement and that I'll be oh-so-not-comfortable doing aerobic with my head covered. You know, with all that sweat... And the idea of taking off my hijab just for that day sounded simply oh-so-fake!
But somehow, day by day I keep on thinking, "Why wait?" And I've read this one quote, 'Many people who decided to change at 12 died at 11'...
Hence, I started on Maulidur Rasul, the Prophet Muhammads' birthday on 12 Rabiulawal 1432 H, 15th February 2011, Tuesday. Yes, the day where I visited Mashitah in Rumah Lambaian Kasih.
Dugaan oh dugaan...
Just the night before Maulidur Rasul, I received a comment saying I looked gorgeous with long hair. Like, who doesn't want to look oh-so-gorgeous? I was in a dilemma for a few minutes jugaklah actually. Because like every other girl, I wanted to look preeetty!
Kuatkan semangat... Kuatkan semangat...
Yup. So the next day I did it. Tutup. :)
Supportive friends gave me loads and loads of advice on wearing the hijab. Oh, I am simply so thankful! Zara, the straits swimmer even gave me a shawl as a gift (In which I still haven't wore because I didn't know how to! Aiya...). But I'm trying not to wear dull colours like black, though. It just demotivates. I wore a black tudung ekspres once and I didn't like it. Friends said I must have one for emergencies... Okay, fine. I bought it just to jaga hati... But honestly, I'm not really keen on it.